Three Ways to Make People Like You


Think about the likable people in your life. What do they have in common?

Do they smile at you when you walk in the room? Do they address you by name? Do they listen and act genuinely interested in you and your going-ons?

In “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, he shares six ways to make people like you. A previous blog of mine touched on the first three, so I’d like to go over the other half of his points.

1. Be a good listener.

Have you ever been told you are a good listener? No? Well, maybe it’s time to evaluate why. When you listen well, you show the speaker you are interested in them. Carnegie explains why this is key: “To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.”

How do you listen to your members and staff? Are you attentive? Do you ask questions? Think about this as you go throughout your day connecting with people.

2. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Carnegie shared how Theodore Roosevelt would stay up the night before a visitor came, reading up on the subject he knew interested the guest. So, one of the ways you can be a good listener is if you figure out and converse about other’s interests. Think about your members: What interests them? Yes, they come in to workout, but is there something else they are passionate about? Do you just talk to them about their PRs or can you ask them about their dog breeding business? This can apply to your staff, too. Remember, people respond well to interest in their interests.

3. Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely.

Remember, “The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely,” wrote Carnegie.

But even more than that, you could change someone’s life by making them important. Whether that’s your Coach who needs encouragement to start that new program, or a member who needs to be told that you think they help make the 6 a.m. class amazing, you could change a day or even a life. Words and care have impact. Use them, Affiliate.

Heather is the editor for Box Pro Magazine. Contact her at